The day I've been waiting for is almost here. On May 12th, I will graduate with my Master of Arts in English and Creative Writing w/con. in Fiction. If you'd asked me 2-and-a-half years ago if I thought I'd be standing on the doorstep of graduation, my answer would probably have been, "Most likely, not." And yet here I am, about to embark on the beginning of yet another new journey: the journey into becoming a writer.
I must admit that when I began my program, I envisioned myself finishing up with a completed, polished manuscript, well on my way to becoming a successfully published author! While I will have the majority of my manuscript complete at the end of my second thesis writing class, one question still looms largely on the horizon: "What now?"
The logical step would seem to be to begin to get my work out there? Sounds easy enough, right? Well, that's when that big dose of self-doubt comes crashing in, in spite of comments from my professors such as: "You're an impressively skilled writer," or "Now Lori's got something to say!" Then there's the positive comments on my writing received during the peer review process, the most flattering being that my short story reminded my classmate of the writing of Nicholas Sparks. Add to that my 4.0 GPA, and one would think I'd have all the confidence in my writing abilities in the world. Alas...self-doubt is rearing its ugly head, filling me with dread and the fear of rejection...which brings to mind something one of my professors said about how a very important part of being a writer is developing a thick skin. In other words, DON'T TAKE EVERYTHING PERSONALLY! There will be people who love your writing, and those who don't. Learning to accept the good with the bad is all part of the process of being an author.
Yeah...I know all of that. But knowing it, and being able to do it are two very different things. That being said, it became obvious to me that I couldn't become a successful author if I wasn't willing to put my work (and myself) out there for all to see. So, I've entered two of my short stories and my 1-Act Screenplay into a couple of nationwide writing contests. Baby steps, I agree, but it's a start! I'm thinking next will be to begin the process of trying to get an agent, as my interest with my first novel lies in seeking the traditional publication route. Oh...but wait...there will be an editor in the mix there somewhere, both content and copy. The little voice in the back of my head is telling me to take the "easy" route and try self-publishing. From what I've learned about the publishing world, self-publishing is far from easy!
For non-writers, it might be hard to imagine just what goes through the head of a writer in terms of self-doubt. Well, the conversation typically goes something like this: "Who on earth would want to read my stuff? Why would they care? I can't compete with those best-selling romance authors! What chance do I stand of attracting an agent?" Those are just a few of the battles that rage in my head. I have to say that all of this made me extremely grateful to come across the work of a young lady by the name of Joanna Penn, whose videos on the subject of writer self-doubt made me feel a lot better! She reassured me that all writers experience the same type of doubts and fears. Thank goodness I'm not all kinds of crazy all y myself!
So, I will do my very best to continue to hone my skills, producing the best possible writing I can. And, with a little luck, and a lot of hard work, maybe one day I'll realize my dream of becoming a successful author. I've come this far, in spite of my personal doubts. Now it's time to set my sights on the future! Happy writing, everyone!
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Here's a link to one of Joanna Penn's short videos! Take a look!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IZGohqr-SU
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