WHEN DOUBT COMES CALLING: A WRITER'S PLAGUE

     The day I've been waiting for is almost here.  On May 12th, I will graduate with my Master of Arts in English and Creative Writing w/con. in Fiction.  If you'd asked me 2-and-a-half years ago if I thought I'd be standing on the doorstep of graduation, my answer would probably have been, "Most likely, not."  And yet here I am, about to embark on the beginning of yet another new journey: the journey into becoming a writer.
     I must admit that when I began my program, I envisioned myself finishing up with a completed, polished manuscript, well on my way to becoming a successfully published author!  While I will have the majority of my manuscript complete at the end of my second thesis writing class, one question still looms largely on the horizon:  "What now?"
     The logical step would seem to be to begin to get my work out there?  Sounds easy enough, right?  Well, that's when that big dose of self-doubt comes crashing in, in spite of comments from my professors such as: "You're an impressively skilled writer," or "Now Lori's got something to say!"  Then there's the positive comments on my writing received during the peer review process, the most flattering being that my short story reminded my classmate of the writing of Nicholas Sparks.  Add to that my 4.0 GPA, and one would think I'd have all the confidence in my writing abilities in the world.  Alas...self-doubt is rearing its ugly head, filling me with dread and the fear of rejection...which brings to mind something one of my professors said about how a very important part of being a writer is developing a thick skin.  In other words, DON'T TAKE EVERYTHING PERSONALLY!  There will be people who love your writing, and those who don't.  Learning to accept the good with the bad is all part of the process of being an author.
     Yeah...I know all of that.  But knowing it, and being able to do it are two very different things.  That being said, it became obvious to me that I couldn't become a successful author if I wasn't willing to put my work (and myself) out there for all to see.  So, I've entered two of my short stories and my 1-Act Screenplay into a couple of nationwide writing contests.  Baby steps, I agree, but it's a start!  I'm thinking next will be to begin the process of trying to get an agent, as my interest with my first novel lies in seeking the traditional publication route.  Oh...but wait...there will be an editor in the mix there somewhere, both content and copy.  The little voice in the back of my head is telling me to take the "easy" route and try self-publishing.  From what I've learned about the publishing world, self-publishing is far from easy! 
     For non-writers, it might be hard to imagine just what goes through the head of a writer in terms of self-doubt.  Well, the conversation typically goes something like this:  "Who on earth would want to read my stuff?  Why would they care?  I can't compete with those best-selling romance authors!  What chance do I stand of attracting an agent?"  Those are just a few of the battles that rage in my head.  I have to say that all of this made me extremely grateful to come across the work of a young lady by the name of Joanna Penn, whose videos on the subject of writer self-doubt made me feel a lot better!  She reassured me that all writers experience the same type of doubts and fears.  Thank goodness I'm not all kinds of crazy all y myself!
     So, I will do my very best to continue to hone my skills, producing the best possible writing I can.  And, with a little luck, and a lot of hard work, maybe one day I'll realize my dream of becoming a successful author.  I've come this far, in spite of my personal doubts.  Now it's time to set my sights on the future!  Happy writing, everyone!

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Here's a link to one of Joanna Penn's short videos!  Take a look!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IZGohqr-SU

TOO MUCH NARRATIVE? CHANGING POV'S? MELODRAMATIC? HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'VE GOTTEN IT RIGHT?

One of my favorite authors typically begins her books with pages of narrative.  The reader is introduced to the main character, often through pages of backstory or interior monologue.  And I honestly saw nothing wrong with it.  She's a best-selling novelist with a huge, loyal fan-base.  So it was only natural for me to begin my manuscript in this same fashion.  I didn't follow her lead entirely, however, as I did interrupt the narrative on page two with a phone call between my main character and her husband, who would develop into my antagonist.  In short, I thought I was off to a good start...until I was told opening a book with pages of narrative wasn't effective...until I pointed out that my favorite author did it and asked why she could when I shouldn't?  Until I was told that she's famous and can get away with it simply for that reason.  Being famous does have it's perks, I guess.

I bumped into a "published" author quite by accident and she seemed interested in my work.  So, at her request, I sent my first chapter over to her for feedback.  Turns out, I still have a lot to learn!  Of course, I'd heard the age-old adage that states that we authors must "show" not "tell" our readers, and I honestly thought that's what I'd done.  She gave me tons of advice and, since we're both romance writers, I took it to heart, even though what she said was in direct conflict with what I'd read and learned from other authors.  Still...she was "published" while I was not, so I figured she must know what she was talking about.  So my quest for revision began.

I must digress here and say that this was not the first time my manuscript was the subject of scrutiny.  I'm also using it as my guinea pig for my Masters program so I introduced it for peer and instructor review on several occasions.  My classmate's, of course, did their best to be kind.  I mean, what else are they supposed to do when put on the spot?  None of us wanted to hurt anyone's feelings if it could be avoided.  My instructor's feedback was positive, but he did offer several suggestions on changing up the plot to remove what he said was the melodrama I'd weaved within its pages.  He said he understood what my intent was but that he thought, if I really put my mind to it, that I could keep the emotional impact of the scenes while removing what seemed over-dramatic.  Okay...so once again, I set out to revise, not really knowing what I was doing.  I deleted scenes.  I changed things around.  I tried to look back at my character histories and determine just how each of them would act under certain situations.  I felt as if I was starting over.

Since then, I've struggled to move my story forward, developing from my main character's point of view.  But I've also learned that the advice my well-meaning author friend gave me might hold true for the type of romance novel she writes...one of those short, Harlequin-type books...but might not always apply to my longer, more mainstream, contemporary romance novel.  I've worked on "showing" my readers my character's emotions rather than "telling" them.  I've tried to give my characters something to care about...a goal...something that they simply cannot live without...as well as real-life obstacles that could easily prevent them from having those things.  I want my readers to care about the outcome of the story.

I cannot say that I have a clearer picture on just how you know when you've gotten all these must-haves right in a manuscript.  I suppose the only way to know is keep on plugging away at it and then find an editor who can give feedback.  That's not an easy thing to do.  Besides the expense involved, finding the courage...growing that thick skin...and believing in my abilities as a writer are all factors that play into what lies ahead for my beloved manuscript in the future.  Until then, I will continue to read and learn as much as possible about what constitutes a "good" manuscript.  I plan to use it as my thesis for the final three classes of my Masters program (if I can, that is).  Most of all, I will remember that this manuscript is my baby, so to speak.  It's a very personal endeavor and, whether it is ever successful or not, it will be work that truly came from the heart.  

LOOKING BACK AT LIFE IN "THE MIRROR"

There’s a face staring back at her from the mirror,

The face of a person she doesn’t know.

Her eyes are sad,

Hardened by life.

Who is she?

Her youthful joy’s been replaced by resignation.

The mistakes.  The pain.  The past.

Haunted by all that should have been but wasn’t.

Still, her life is not a complete failure.

She raised a family,

But she rarely sees them now that they’re grown.

“If you don’t hear from them, that means you did your job right.”

She finds little comfort in those words.

She lives in a lonely world, feeling forgotten.

She’s never been good at being a friend,

At being a wife,

And maybe even at being a mother, daughter, sister…

Maybe that’s why she’s alone.

“You made your bed, now you must lie in it,” they say.

Who is this person staring back at her from the mirror?

With hair that’s going grey,

With lines and wrinkles interrupting the appearance of youth,

With eyes that speak of loneliness and sorrow…

Without saying a word.

Where did the joy go?  The zest for life?  The hope?  The faith in those stars?

When did she stop being a dreamer?

When did I grow so old?

IS LITERARY THEORY RELEVANT IN THE WORLD OF FICTION WRITERS?

The Relevance of Literary Theory

Nine weeks ago, I was a complete stranger to the world of literary theory.  As I skimmed through Literary Theory: An Anthology, I can say with honesty that I agreed with Robert Young when he said that the realm of literary theory seemed “to be an area of intellectual activity barred to all except initiates…[with] literary theorists…making little effort to address a wider audience” (165).  With no exposure to the field, I felt overwhelmed by what I saw at first glance.  I thought back to my earlier academic days and the required readings of many of the great writers: Shakespeare, Poe, Twain, Dickins, and Melville, to name a few.  At that time, I read those works only at what I now understand to be the surface level.  I didn’t have any idea that a knowledge of literary theory could have helped me “discover new ways in which [I] might be able to experience literature even more powerfully [by pursuing] the questions which literary theory raises” (Young 166).  Having studied the literary theories of psychoanalysis, Marxism, feminism, and deconstructionism, I now see the many layers of hidden meaning that can be extruded from a text, adding depth to my experience as a reader and a writer.

In stating that studying the application of literary theory to a text has opened up new layers of meaning, I’m in direct conflict with the very nature of those theories.  “Deconstruction shows how language can never arrive at a closed final meaning, because in the process of getting to that meaning the signs will always leave a residue that remains unassimilable to it” (Young 170).  In other words, the inherent instability of language to convey meaning makes it impossible to establish one universal meaning of a text.  Other theorists, such as Walter Benjamin, suggest that “understanding literature means more than merely understanding language…[it] must be considered in a speculative mode, always mediated through the way of meaning” (Kohlross para. 18).  Taking into account the many controversial ideas of literary theory, Jacques Derrida sums it up when he defines it as “an adventure of vision…a form of writing whose power and significance resides in the fact that it is explorative” (Young 173).  Regardless of which side of the argument you’re on, the worlds that the application of literary theory to any given text opens up signifies its importance and will be what continues to give its methods of study life.

As I studied a few of the many literary theories , I was completely intrigued by the deconstructionist theory.  I spent countless hours scouring any resource I could find in an effort to understand its complicated concepts.  That being said, I think that the psychoanalytic theory will be the most useful to me in my future endeavors as a creative fiction writer.  “The “cognito” or thinking self defines our humanity and our civility” (Introduction 390).  Part of preparing to construct a piece of fiction involves completing character histories, with the goal being to understand the motivations for their actions, allowing me, as a writer, to convey this to my reader, making my characters more relatable.  Keeping in mind the concepts of the psychoanalytic theory as I develop my character histories will open them up to me and let me “know” who they are and why they would behave or react a certain way to particular events.  Granted, a literary theory is typically applied to a completed text, but I can envision many ways that referring to the key concepts of the psychoanalytic theory will help make my writing stronger from the beginning. 

If asked at this point if I believe that the field of literary theory is just for those elitists, my answer would have to be, “No.”  It is an area filled with complicated concepts that can take a great deal of study to understand, but I found it to be worth it in terms of the new ways in which I am now able to look at a literary text, and even my own writing, and find multiple meanings that enrich my reading experience.  I now understand how much more can be hidden within the lines of those classics that I might have once dismissed as boring or meaningless.  My understanding of literary theory allows me to look at an author’s work and realize that he or she really had something to say about the human condition.

Works Cited

“Introduction: Strangers to Ourselves: Psychoanalysis.” Literary Theory: An Anthology. 2nd ed. Julie Rivkin, Michael Ryan, ed. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing. 2004. pp.390. Print.

Kohlross, Christian. “Walter Benjamin’s “The Task of the Translator: Theory After the End of Theory.” Partial Answers. 7(1). January 2009. para 18. Web. Accessed 19 March 2107. http://search.proquest.com.ezproxy.snhu.edu/docview/226084562?accountid=3783

Young, Robert. “Contemporary Literary Theory: Its Necessity and Impossibility.” College Literature. Vol. 9. Issue 3. Fall 1982. pp.165-173.

THOUGHTS ON MARY WOLLSTONECRAFT'S "A VINDICATION OF THE RIGHTS OF WOMAN"

Ushered in on the sleeve of the French Revolution, the Romantic period brought with it a newly discovered obsession with individual freedom.  Government and society grabbled with conflict and turmoil, while the writers of the time grasped onto the concept of freedom, expounding on its virtues and presenting numerous ways for man to enjoy all this new freedom had to offer.  Great men like Thomas Paine, Rousseau, and Dr. Gregory produced powerful essays on the topic of freedom, education, and the rights of man, but none of these important voices of the Romantic period extended these same rights to women, “render[ing] women more artificial, weak characters than they would otherwise have been; and, consequently, more useless members of society” (Wollstonecraft 107).  It was her reading of Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord’s recommendations to the National Assembly of France concerning the educational system, however, that inspired Mary Wollstonecraft to address equality for women’s education in her essay, “A Vindication of the Rights of Woman.”  Through the use of straightforward, powerful diction, Wollstonecraft composed a finely structured persuasive essay, urging women to dismiss the notion of sensibility and become rational, independent individuals capable of contributing to society, while also challenging men of importance to examine the antiquated beliefs towards women and education

Wollstonecraft crafted her essay into two major components.  The first chapter was designed to plant the seed of change in the minds of women “in the middle class because they appear to be in the most natural state” (Wollstonecraft 103). Wollstonecraft knew that she had to convince women that, by giving into their whims and emotions, “not only do they do harm to themselves but they also do harm to all of civilization: [that they] are not women who can refine civilization – [they] are women who will destroy it” (Wikipedia).  She felt strongly about the state of affairs women had been forced into accepting, leaving them to viewed more as the playthings of men rather than individuals capable of contributing to the world in which they lived.  It angered her that this inequality was blindly accepted so she set out to “persuade women to endeavor to acquire strength, both of mind and body, and to convince them that…the refinement of taste are almost always synonymous with epithets of weakness” (Wollstonecraft 104).  Because she didn’t wish to single out any one social class, her language was simple, forceful, and anything but delicate.  Wollstonecraft wanted her female readers to wake up and take notice of their situation and strive towards becoming independent and productive.

Because of her keen understanding of the situation of women, Wollstonecraft knew that the task of becoming independent through obtaining an education equal to that of their male counterparts was something that couldn’t be accomplished without assistance.  “Because women are uneducated…men must come to their aid [by initiating] the social and political changes she outlines in “Rights of Woman” (Wikipedia).  She doesn’t deny that the physical differences between men and women predestine a man to be superior in strength, thus making him the appropriate candidate for certain tasks.  She pleads with men of influence to help women “cultivate their minds, give them the salutary, sublime curb of principle, and let them attain conscious dignity by feeling themselves only dependent on God” (Wollstonecraft 116).  She goes on to assure these men that “should the experience prove that they cannot attain the same degree of strength of mind, perseverance, and fortitude, let their virtues be the same in kind, though they may vainly struggle for the same degree…the superiority of man will be equally clear” (Wollstonecraft 116).  In short, she presented the problem and then offered a solution and was willing to admit defeat if the situation called for it.

Wollstonecraft’s task to persuade women to stand up for their God-given rights, while also asking for the support of the very men she held responsible for the oppression of those women, loomed large in the face of a society that spent years supporting inequality between the sexes.  Fear of failure didn’t stop her from putting her powerful words to work towards the higher good of all concerned.  Her dedication to the cause of education for women opened the door for equality in many other areas. 

 

Works Cited

Wikipedia contributors. "A Vindication of the Rights of Woman." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia.org. 1 Oct. 2016. Web. Accessed 4 November 2016. https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:CiteThisPage&page=A_Vindication_of_the_Rights_of_Woman&id=742139097

Wollstonecraft, Mary. “A Vindication of the Rights of Woman.” The Broadview Anthology of British Literature: The Age of Romanticism. Vol. 4. 2^nd ed. Peterborough, Ontario: Broadview Press. 2010. pp. 103-116. Print.